I have given birth three times. Each experience was unique, had a different hospital setting and a different care provider.The research before each of my births varied. I had advice from all kinds of women. Every opportunity ultimately taught me something new about myself. This had become a journey of self-discovery, strength and internal desire.
My first pregnancy was unplanned. I was only 18 years old and wasn’t married. I had my mom and my dad to help me through this journey. I bought the book “What to Expect When Your Expecting.” This was my only research I did. I read every page in that book multiple times. The internet was not readily available with information. I took the childbirth education classes that the Hospital offered with my mom. I saw a female OB-GYN for all my prenatal visits and planned on her delivering my baby. I had no idea what to expect when I was ready to deliver. I didn’t know there were options. I thought that the Doctor was a “Health Care Provider” and that she would only offer the healthiest solution for us during delivery.
I was about one week from my due date when my water broke. I wasn’t having any contractions but my mom took me to the hospital.We were taken into the labor and delivery rooms and the nurse came in to check me.My water had definitely broken so she gave me my hospital uniform to put on. Then we were told to walk. Keep walking until contractions start. I had no clue what a contraction felt like. I felt like I had just jumped onto a football field. Someone threw me a uniform and said the goal is there at the end of the field; take this ball and try and win the game.
Nothing happened so they put me into the bed to get a pitocin drip and an IV started and hooked me up to the monitors. I lay there waiting.I started to get a bad headache from the drugs in my system. My hand pulsed where my IV was. I couldn’t tell if I was having contractions or making progress. I did not understand what my body had to do in order to birth a baby.
Eventually they had turned the pitocin up so high that the pain was unbearable. It felt like a truck was driving over the top of my body. My head still hurt, I was throwing up and the pain in my back was insane. I was only dilated to 4.I couldn’t take it anymore so I asked for an epidural. Now I had a blood pressure cuff on and pulse thing on my finger. I still had my IV in my hand and now a tube in my spine. I had two monitors strapped onto my stomach and was literally stuck in bed.
I could no longer feel the insane pain in my back. I stopped throwing up and had no clue if I was having a contraction now or not. However, my head still hurt and now I itched badly from a reaction to the pain medication. I fell asleep for a while until the nurse came in to check all my tubes and printouts.She checked me and said it was going be a while but she needed to empty my bladder. No one tells you that in order for you to pee a nurse has to stick another tube up inside and drain your bladder for you! AHH.
I fell back asleep until I began to feel extreme pressure in my chest. It felt as if the baby was pushing against my ribs with her feet. The nurse came in and checked to see what was happening and was surprised to find that I was complete and the baby was crowning.The doctor had just walked in to do her morning rounds and was quickly whisked into her scrubs. The delivery cart was prepped, the lights were turned up real bright and my bed was lowered so I was lying down and my legs were pulled up into stirrups and draped with sterile blue papers.
My mom was on one side and the nurse on the other. The nurse looked at me and said, “Ok, Somer, now push.” I smiled at her and grunted but had no clue what I was supposed to do. She told me, “Next time hold your breath and push as hard as you can towards your bottom.” Everyone seemed pleased at what I was doing. I however, truly had no clue. I remember looking down at the doctor in between my legs and seeing her pull out scissors to cut me. I couldn’t feel it but I heard the sound it made. The third and final push, Ryan Meredith was born.
The doctor suctioned her nose and mouth and put her in the sterile papers they had draped on me. The nurse brought a warm blanket and started to rub her as she lay on my chest. She was so pink and fat and warm. Her lips were swollen from the birth and her eyes were wide open. She looked at me and I looked at her. I was in shock that she was here. I didn’t feel her coming.I still couldn’t feel my body and my emotions seemed to be stuck. I knew I was happy but it almost felt forced.
I was still holding her when the nurse began pushing on my stomach and the doctor delivered the placenta. I couldn’t pull my legs down from the stirrups nor could I sit up to enjoy my daughter. I was trembling and felt out of it. I had to stay in this position while the doctor stitched up the cut she had given me. Eventually I got to sit up so I could nurse Ryan. They had already cleaned her up and weighed her so she was a pretty little bundle when I got to hold her again.
When the epidural finally wore off I walked into the bathroom and tried to pee.This was the most unreal pain, because it burned thanks to my new wound. The nurse told me that it would be a good idea to pee in the bath or squirt myself with warm water down there while I peed. I smiled and said, “Okay.” I really had no idea this was what I was to expect. This was not the picture painted for me. No one talks about the things they DO TO YOU in the hospital. I was young and I just wanted to comply with the people who I thought knew better that I did. I didn’t feel like this was the time to rebel like I had so much before.
When I married Jeff six years later we knew we wanted to have children right away. I was lucky enough to have met a midwife in my new line of work cutting hair. Martha was an earthy, spiritual woman who was so in love with what she did that she shared stories all the time.She told me beautiful birth stories that were unlike any I had heard before. Jeff and I went to talk with her and had great conversations about family, marriage, new babies, sex and love. She made us feel together in this journey.
Jeff and I honeymooned and discovered weeks later that we were pregnant.Martha was a CNM (certified nurse midwife) but in order for her to deliver she had to work with an OB-GYN partner in a hospital. She had us come into her office around our eighth week and checked our new life. We were indeed expecting and she was so happy for us. Martha wanted to make sure we could take a picture of the baby home to show our daughters, so she snuck the ultrasound cart in and captured a picture of our peanut.I remember her spending so much time with us at each of our visits. She always remembered what we had discussed the time before and always had great questions for us to consider. She would make sure that Jeff and I were still making time for each other, that sex was going good and that the girls were feeling loved in our new family setting. We felt so cared for.
The pregnancy itself was hard. I was sick the entire nine months. The hormones were wild. I did everything I could.Martha was always available and kept us believing that everything was wonderful and very natural. We were getting close to the end and knew that we were taking a natural approach to this delivery. We were not interested in being induced or in epidurals. There would not be continuous fetal monitoring or an IV. I knew these things were not necessary to have a healthy baby.
We went into the office for our routine check and she said we were very ready to have a baby so we met her at the hospital a few hours later. We weren’t really contracting but I was having a lot of cramping.She broke my water and put me in the Jacuzzi tub. The nurse tried to put a heparin lock in my hand while I was in the tub having strong contractions. Bad idea. She blew up every vein in my right hand. I had to get out of the tub for her to put it in my left hand.
The weight of the world was intense outside of the tub. The water was a great relief but I had no time to get back in to it. I went to the bathroom and then proceeded to throw up all the juice Martha had given me. She wanted me to come to the bed so she could check me. I was moving along great so she turned the lights down in the room, pulled out the birth ball, and set it up on the bed.
I crouched over the ball on the bed and rocked my hips back and forth while Martha rubbed my back. I was holding onto Jeff and he was breathing with me. Feeling each contraction he stayed right next to me. I felt a ton of pressure in my bottom and Martha told me the baby was coming and that I could push if I wanted. I was so happy. I gave it my everything. It felt so good to push. I moved the birth ball out from under me and continued to stay on my hands and knees. I was holding onto Jeff with each contraction. They were almost continuous at this point. I felt the baby’s head push through my pelvic bone and onto my perineum. Martha was using warm washcloths and helping to stretch so I wouldn’t tear. I pushed out the head and caught my breath and then with a final push I felt his entire body escape me. It was such a cool feeling.
Martha passed Aidan to me through my legs so I could turn around and see him. I sat down on the bed and held him close to my skin. He was so content and alert. I kept a hold of him and put him to my breast. Jeff and I lay on the bed and drank in the emotion and the moment of Aidan’s birth. I was shaking again this time after he was born but this time it was adrenaline. The rush of birth is indescribable. The emotion is intense and the sense of accomplishment is incredible. No one delivered my son. I gave birth to him.
Posted 1 year, 7 months ago at 2:03 pm. Add a comment
It was only 16 months later that we were blessed with another pregnancy. We loved our experience with a midwife. I knew as long as there were no serious complications, a midwife was the answer for a healthy pregnancy. Martha was practicing in Iowa and would be leaving to go to a different clinic half way through our pregnancy. We saw her for our first few visits and then decided to look for midwives closer to home.
We saw a group of three midwives that still practiced under the observation of three OB-GYNS’. This is a requirement for a CNM in the State of Nebraska. The experience with the group of midwives was a little more medical than our experience before but we still appreciated the natural, healthy approach.
As my due date approached we had frequent office visits. At our last visit the midwife “swept my membranes” and told me to go home, pack up my things, take a walk around the mall and meet her at the hospital in an hour or so. We had been having contractions so we did as she said and our journey began. After gathering our baby bag from home we headed to the mall to walk. I had Jeff and my mother with me. We would have to stop for each of the contractions and they started to come more frequently and intensely. I held on to Jeff and my mom stood behind me and rubbed my back. After it was over each time we would laugh and keep walking. We did this for about an hour or so and decided we could go get checked in.
We got settled into the room and the nurse went through her standard check off list. We barely got started on all the hospital “protocol” when my labor started to progress much faster. The midwife came in to check us and when she did my water broke. I was able to get into the Jacuzzi tub and labor for about 45 minutes. I really felt the urge to go to the bathroom so I got out of the tub. My contractions were coming on so fast she wanted to check and see if I had opened any more. I crawled onto the bed and she was shocked to see that I was almost complete. Sitting or lying on the bed was the most uncomfortable position so I got on my hands and knees and held onto the bed.
The relief of switching positions was wonderful. She wanted to check me again but wanted me to turn around. This was incredibly hard to do. The intensity changed so much as she moved me. She was concerned that I hadn’t fully dilated yet so she made the nurse start an IV line just in case something happened. It had only been 15 minutes from the last time she had checked me but I had gone so fast that 15 minutes must have felt like an eternity to her. She monitored the baby’s heart rate with a hand held monitor and everything was great.
I was not about to let anything stop me from delivering my child so I relaxed and opened up the rest of the way and a few pushes later, I had Dylan in my arms. He was warm, crying, and finally here! As we held him and soaked up his new soul the three of us looked at each other in amazement. I was so glad my mom got to be with us to see Dylan be born. She was with me for Ryan’s birth and that took 13 hours. When we delivered Aidan in Iowa our labor was only three hours long, so by the time she got there with the kids Aidan had already been born.Dylan’s delivery was only an hour and a half once we arrived at the hospital. It is wonderful to have her support and encouragement during labor.
James 1:12 Blessed is the woman who perseveres under trial, because when she has stood the test, she will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.
Each of my births are so vivid to me. Every one of them delivered a child and made me a mother.The trial of labor is to be welcomed by us as women. There is a purpose to each and every moment of the trial and we are to find the joy. The joy of birth should be a choice that we make. Joy allows us to endure labor until it has accomplished its purpose. We try to escape the pain or make sure we take the fastest or easiest way possible but we end up missing the training that true labor provides us as women.
When I delivered Ryan I was not mature enough to know what to expect. I had read a book that tried to explain pregnancy, labor and birth. Along with the detailed explanation it showed the options I had to escape the pain of labor. This book in no way prepared me for the spiritual and emotional design of childbirth or motherhood. I felt as though I missed something intended for me after she was born. I knew I never wanted to feel so out of control and helpless. I was unaware of the purpose of my design as a woman and the gift that natural childbirth provides.
My approach to pregnancy, labor and delivery with my sons was very positive. I knew that God designed me to endure the trial. I wanted to experience the journey without the assistance of artificial induction, or an escape from the pain. I found support for this experience with midwives. They view pregnancy as the natural healthy design of a woman. This seemed like the path for us because our pregnancies were both healthy and I was fit mentally and spiritually to be content with the task ahead of me.
Romans 5:3-5 We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts.
Birth is an empowering, transforming experience. As we approach the impending delivery of our next child in the spring, we have made the decision to have a homebirth. The peace and comfort of home surrounded by family is a natural choice for us. We have an experienced midwife attending our birth to provide continuous emotional and physical support during labor.
Birth is the expansion of a family. We want our children, especially our teenage daughters, to experience being with a woman in labor. We want our children to know that birth is a trial but is not something to be feared, or something gross. There is a very intimate moment when a new child is born into this world. We believe our children should have the opportunity to share that with us.
After praying and doing countless hours of research we believe that the Lord has provided a wonderful Christian midwife to attend our birth. I believe that God will use this woman and her immense knowledge and experience to help Jeff and I create the safest place for our child to be born. We believe that the medical interventions are not necessary to give birth. We realize there may be a risk of injury or death with any delivery. Whether we are able to create the birth we want for our family at home or if we need to go to a hospital in crisis, we place our trust in God alone, knowing that all things work together for good for those who love God.
Patience, perseverance and contentment in the journey provides a deep spiritual maturity that trains us for the tasks God gives to us as mothers. Joy in the midst of a trial is not the absence of sorrow or pain but the presence of God. Experiencing labor and birth tests our faith but strengthens us in motherhood. We are to train our children in this life to find God and contentment in the trials. His design in us lacks nothing. He created labor and birth. When we are able to withstand the test we are able to see clearly Gods perfect creation in our body physically, spiritually and emotionally.
Posted 1 year, 7 months ago at 2:02 pm. 5 comments
Jeff and I went for our ultrasound right before thanksgiving. The baby was perfect in every way and definitely a boy! It is so amazing to see a healthy strong baby in the ultrasound. He was very active kicking, squirming and moving around. We await his arrival with full hearts!
Introducing Baby Miles Douglas Krueger, due to arrive April 1st!
Baby Miles First Photos
Posted 1 year, 8 months ago at 12:02 pm. 1 comment
With my impending birth I find this article from my chiropractor funny. I believe that God knew exactly what He was doing when he created women. He knew that when Jesus came was the PERFECT time and I love that Baby Jesus was born in a barn. Isn’t God great.
Hope you all have a Merry Christmas and a HEALTHY New Year!
Somer Krueger
WHY CHRISTMAS WAS A MEDICAL DISASTER
No thousand events combined, have impacted humanity like the event we celebrate at this time each year. While many take joy in a gift from God that start our calendar and changed how millions worship, if you look at things from a medical perspective, you have to sit back and wonder if God really did not make quite a blunder. I mean, 2000 years ago, how could God even consider a pregnancy at that time? Think about it. There was literally no medical technology! This was certainly very risky and inconvenient for all parties involved.
First of all, through the entire nine months, not once was Mary’s blood tested to make sure her body was even fit to bear a child. In addition, there were no exams to make sure things were coming along medically right. In such a prehistoric era, there was no high frequency electric wave available to monitor the fetal heart rate or any ultrasound to make sure that He was a he and that the baby was developing normally. Also, what about amniocentesis? Back then they did not even have needles to suck out some of the fluid in the womb to check for the proper chromosomal development. What was God thinking? There were no doctor’s offices, no hospitals, and no HMOs. Not only was this a very unsafe situation, but how was Joseph suppose to even afford it on a Carpenter’s salary! Why did you think the inn keeper said there was, “No room?” Can you say, “No dinero?”
Talk about perilous. What if labor needed to be induced? What if there needed to be an emergency C-section and without forceps or vacuum extraction, what if Jesus could not even have gotten out? Then where would we be? No toys, no reindeer, no fruit cake! In fact, with no epidurals or heavy narcotics available how in heaven was Mary expected to even endure this event? You bet she was a Saint!! Medically speaking, should we even be looking at this as a season for merriment? No! Instead, we should be questioning God’s decision making ability and reflecting on how He could have risked little 8 pounds 8 ounces, baby Jesus’ life this way!
Baby Jesus was born in a barn . before antibiotics were even invented! Not to mention after the delivery there was no erythromycin for His eyes to stop Him from going blind just in case Mary somehow had Syphilis, no Vitamin K shots for his poorly constructed blood stream, no Heparin (See Dennis Quaid) and good Lord, no vaccinations! They were so behind then. Clearly now, in a far more advanced, sophisticated society, is when all of this should have happened or maybe we need to start re-thinking some things!
FACT: The United States has the highest infant death rate and the highest neonatal mortality rate of any industrialized country in the world.
FACT: The United States is last in the world for death before age 1 and at age 60.
FACT: The Unites States is second last in the world for healthy longevity.
FACT: The United States pays the most for health yet ranks last in health.
As the calendar goes to rollover once more from 2008 to 2009, I believe it is time to reconsider what the MAN who literally split the calendar had in mind, at His coming in relation to our bodies and our thinking. Maybe another reason for the birth of Jesus at that time and place is as a model of faith in the natural processes of God and a trust and respect for the power He put in the body to heal and maintain itself.
TURN BACK TO GOD. TURN ON GOD’S POWER. GO NATURAL THAT IS CHIROPRACTIC!
Posted 1 year, 8 months ago at 11:22 am. Add a comment
(This was originally posted on September 7, 2008 on another blog)
We are anticipating a fifth addition to our family. Jeff and I discovered we were expecting soon after we had decided to move back to our newly remodeled home. We were so excited to see our positive pregnancy test. So excited that we took a few more tests just to be sure. We are due at the end of March or Early April. I have decided to document our journey through this pregnancy. We are planning a Homebirth and using a Doula as labor support.
The entire family is involved in the pregnancy. We are sharing our journey with our children so they have the opportunity to learn, ask questions and develop an expectation for the arrival of their newest sibling. This is a unique opportunity for the young women we are raising to be with and support a woman in labor. We have beautiful discussions of how the baby is developing, what our plans are for the birth and what some other women are experiencing in a medical setting for their birth. Some of the time they are children who get grossed out at the conversation but other times the mature intellectual thoughts that pour out of them are so exciting.
We were all sitting around one night and I described my first Birth Experience with Ryan at the hospital. I told them step by step what the “professionals” did to me. At one point Jasmyn (15) exclaimed “Can they do that? Did they have consent? Can’t you sue them?” I was shocked at her understanding of what had happened to me and how she knew…it wasn’t right.
An intense anticipation itself transforms possibility into reality; our desires being often but precursors of the things which we are capable of performing. Samuel Smiles
Posted 1 year, 8 months ago at 8:42 pm. Add a comment
I had to run inside yesterday because the windchill was -25 and Somer gets upset when I run outside in the cold. So, I did 10 miles on a treadmill. Someday, I’ll write my ‘Ode to running on a treadmill’, but suffice it to say that I don’t enjoy it that much. I prefer running outside where I can look around, experience nature and spend some quality time with God. At the gym, it’s too easy to get distracted by the people, the noise and the 37 televisions. I’m having lunch with my friend Alan tomorrow. Hopefully, we can start deciding on a spring marathon to run.
Well, it’s 5 days before Christmas and I thought we should start updating family and friends on our journey. We will use this site to post photos, videos and thoughts. Enjoy.
Posted 1 year, 8 months ago at 8:33 pm. Add a comment
